“Balance” seems to be the thing that everyone is looking for and few can find. We talk about balance in many facets of life – work, home, family, projects, food, exercise, etc. – and liken finding it to finding the end of a rainbow. “Balance” is difficult to conceptualize because it’s not defined and it looks different for everyone.
Many people think about food in a very dichotomous, black-or-white sort of way: “Potato chips are so bad;” “I’m being good and getting a salad;” “I was bad last night and ate two brownies.” This kind of talk – talk that assigns moral value to food or the eater – indicates to me that a person might have some work to do with their relationship with food. When a person values health and nutrition but comes to realize that the dieting cycle, food restriction, and talking negatively about food and themselves is problematic, it’s natural to go looking for balance. A “balanced” approach to food is a common topic that my clients will talk about, but so many struggle with this idea because there is no definition of “balance.” It’s abstract, elusive, and looks different for every person.
Most of us know what it’s like to feel out of balance. When we go months without moving our bodies or weeks without veggies, sometimes that doesn’t feel quite right. On the other hand, being rigid with workout regimens and meal schedules can put a damper on our social lives and the state of our relationships. Rigidity with meals can also backfire: many of my clients binge eat pizza or peanut butter after not “allowing” themselves to have those foods for several days or weeks. I know many people who follow a “diet” or “eat healthy” for a few days but find their choices are not sustainable and they quickly fall back into old patterns. This confirms the importance of balance but also poses the question: how do we get there?
I like to use this description: Balance is the act of nourishing your body with the things it needs – macronutrients, vitamins, minerals, water – in appropriate and adequate amounts while also enjoying foods that nourish your soul. I believe that complete self-nourishment involves three things: 1) giving your body adequate food because your body is your home and it needs fuel to function and survive, 2) honoring food cravings, even if those craved foods are not conventionally considered “healthy,” and 3) enjoyment of all food without guilt or self-depricating thoughts. It is important to recognize that “balance” for you might look different than “balance” for your friend, your sister, or your coach.
If you struggle with bouncing between “I’ve resolved to eat healthy” and “Screw it, I want to eat convenient things that taste good, ” try out these five tips for finding better balance with food:
- Be honest with yourself. Make a list of your favorite foods and make sure you include them in your diet. Try this exercise: Take 5 minutes to set aside judgments about food and yourself and make a list of all the foods you truly enjoy. Include things you love that provide lots of nutrients and things you love that just taste good. Make 3 columns labeled “1,” “2,” and “3” and divide the foods you wrote down between these columns based on how much you enjoy them, 1 being most enjoyed and 3 being less enjoyed. Find ways to work your “high priority” foods into your life regularly. For example, if you love chocolate and find yourself craving it daily, find a way to have chocolate daily. This doesn’t mean you have to eat a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream every day (remember, black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking can be a problem); maybe a ½ cup serving is enough to satisfy you. Or if you love creamy pasta, set aside one evening per week to cook and enjoy fettuccini alfredo with someone you like spending time with. When people consistently honor their cravings instead of restricting enjoyed foods, those cravings become less intense and more brain space is freed up for other things that really matter. Also, balance comes about more naturally when food is just food and not a moral issue. The reality is that you probably won’t want fettuccini alfredo for every meal until the end of time. So make room for what you like!
- Eat the real thing. There’s nothing worse than wanting chocolate cake but making the “healthy” choice and going for a piece of dark chocolate instead, and doing so might only intensify that chocolate craving. When a craving hits, eat a satisfying portion of what you really want (chocolate cake), then move on with your day. Remember that the cake is a small portion of your daily food intake.
- Check your mindset. I’ve worked with many clients who are very self-critical of their food intake, and they stay focused on the cookie they ate yesterday rather than remembering the vitamin-rich breakfast they had this morning. Don’t get caught up in the guilt and forget about the other foods you’re eating. While you’re at it, observe the dialogue you have with yourself around food. Do you find yourself calling some foods “good” and others “bad?” Do you often tell yourself to resist food? These thoughts can be helpful to discuss with a non-diet dietitian.
- Cut yourself some slack. Over-eating at one meal or eating “too much” one day will not – I repeat, will NOT – make a difference in your life, your weight, or your health. The only difference it could make is in the way you think about yourself, and you can choose to be gentle with yourself when self-critical thoughts come up. Don’t go to extremes after enjoying favorite foods by ramping up exercise or restricting your food the next day. Also watch out for the “I’ve already blown it, so I might as well eat everything I want” mentality. Recognize your thoughts, mentally turn the page, and continue acting in ways that care for yourself.
One of the most helpful things a person can do to to improve their relationship with food is to work with a dietitian who can help find better balance. If you’ve tried different techniques and you’re still struggling with the yo-yo dieting cycle, contact me!
What do you do in your own life to promote better balance? I’d love to hear your ideas – comment below!
\\Taylor